This Women's day, celebrating the girl child, India's woman of tomorrow

This Women's day, celebrating the girl child, India's woman of tomorrow
 

Every night, I ask them tough questions about Math, English and Science.

They in turn fox me by asking tougher questions about life, goodness and kindness.

“Papa – why do you break the signal? And why then, do you pay the cop?

You ask us to be content and not change our bicycle.

Why then every 2 years, do you change your job?

What exactly do you do in your job?” (ummm….tough one, lemme think…)

“Why do you spend so much time on Facebook?”

To the world outside, it’s easier to get away with generic answers like,

The power of social media, the relevance of your online avatar,

The reach of the digital medium, the advantages of networking.

To the kids at home, it’s much difficult to decode this hot-air into a simple answer about

Why do I spend so much time on Facebook?

Every night, I narrate to them feel-good tales about the Sun, Moon, Stars, the Gods and Angels.

They in turn ask me feel-real questions about humanity and love.

“Papa, while you have a holiday every Saturday and Sunday, why does the maid in our home comes every day?

Why do you spend so much time in the shower? Why can’t you use a bucket instead?

You say that Gods are basically our friends, why then we can’t take cameras inside temples?

Why can’t we click our snaps with our favourite Gods and post the pictures on Facebook?”

Every night, I introduce them to various domestic and wild animals.

They in turn ask me, “Why then do we cage animals? Why do we eat them?”

Yes, every night, I try to take them to a wonderful world of fantasy.

They in turn, bring me back to the real world, and most often unfair world we live in.

Every night, I try to make them feel-good. In return, they try to make me Feel.

Every night, I try to make them Science geniuses, Math Whizkids and English experts.

In short, every night, I try hard to make them super-human.

They in turn, simply cut the crap, and try to make me Human.

Every evening, the leader in me, returns home with a great sense of accomplishment.

Every night, the small wonders at home, make me realise, how trivial my so-called achievements have been.

Every night, is yet another reinforcement of the fact that “Child, truly is the father of a man”.

Every night, as I talk to them about the grandiose ways we can change the world;

They bring me to face with the fact that the real change has to start within.

Every night, the smart dad in me tries to teach them the ways of life. The Art and Science of Living.

The young ones, in many subtle ways, re-introduce to me, the lost art of Loving.

Every night is yet another starry, dreamy-eyed time of learning and fun for them.

Every night I teach them. Every night, they educate me.

Nothing Special about Special 26

Nothing Special about Special 26

 

Must be amongst the most predictable ‘unpredictable’ film ever. If you’ve seen the promos, well you know most of it. Neither does Special 26 have the grandeur of other heist series like Dhoom or Race, nor does it have the sexiness quotient of a very similar 2002 film ‘Aankhen’ or even the ‘hits-you-like-a-bullet’ unexpected twist of ‘A Wednesday’.  

Yes Special 26 does climaxes into an ‘unexpected twist’ towards the end. However, it’s kind of too tame and another of those expected ‘unexpectations’ to shake you from your slumber. On the whole, it’s a neat flick that keeps you engaged with a very competent cast (Anupam Kher and Manoj Bajpayee are superb!) , interesting premise, period settings of the 80s-era, a high-octave background score (again very reminiscent of the 80s with trumpets and all) and one absolute fab chase sequence!

However, there are far too many dampeners to dilute the kick of this ‘could have been supercool’ heist fiesta. To begin with is the dull, tepid and extremely lacklustre romantic track that sticks out like a sore thumb. An absolute unnecessary distraction that does nothing more than killing the nicely built-up momentum on many key occasions. Couple that with a ‘dumb as dumbbell’ female lead like Kajal Agarwal (of Singham fame) and what you have is the dreariest romantic track in recent times. Akshay Kumar too looks the most uninterested and uninspired in this part of the movie and it shows. Zero chemistry out here!

But then, you were never promised a heart-tugging love story in Special 26. So then why to complain? The issue is ‘Yes Exactly!’ Special 26 was meant to be a thrill-a-minute chor-police adventure to keep you on your edge-of-the-seat throughout. What then was the burning necessity to bog it down with an uninspired romantic angle? Why can’t even the most sorted of film makers like Neeraj Pandey keep it single-track and avoid the whims of the box-office. Another Akki-starrer ‘Oh My God’ avoided any romantic distraction in recent times, and was a huge success at that!

A romantic angle increases the box-office prospects of a movie, increases the face-value in the posters and gives it a more broader audience base, right? In this case, absolutely wrong! A romantic track over here, which is further dragged by a rank bad actress, does exactly the opposite. Time and again, it crops up needlessly with those soft and boring so-called silent-love scenes and punctures the pace.

Another complaint is the thinking-man’s Akshay Kumar. Yes, it’s good to go on a ‘acting’ mode once in a while, establish your credentials as a fine actor and wash away the sins of brain-drainers you are normally associated with. However, it makes little sense when you go completely against the grain and don’t even attempt to cash-in on the strengths of your persona. At time it suffocating to watch an otherwise energetic Akki without a single chase (which could’ve been there) or an action scene (which definitely could’ve been there) to top-up the entertainment quotient of the movie. So in a nutshell, the movie depicts its biggest commercial trump-card, Akki in certain things which he should definitely not be doing (like puppy romance) rather than certain things which he should definitely be doing (action).  The songs (despite there being just a couple of them) test your patience and further slows down this already slowing thrill express.

To sum it up, a major part of Special 26 is spent on building it up nicely for the final heist. But somehow, all of it doesn’t quite add-up in the final reels. It definitely ends well and smart, but not with the ‘Oh God Damn!’ kind of feeling that gripped you post ‘A Wednesday’.  It’s more like a Manoj Night Shyamlan trying too hard to bring in that sixth sense-kinda unbelievable twist in all his subsequent films.  But still, always falling too short to match-up to the sheer ‘Oh My God-ness’ of the first time he did that in Sixth Sense.

In the end, Special 26 is a decently thrilling and entertaining film. But at the same time, it’s a mixed-bag of many missed opportunities of what it could have been. Definitely a bit more tighter, a bit more unpredictable. If the makers can still edit-out those Unspecial 26 minutes of icy-cold romance, it still might become a more saucy and special flick!

Juvenile Laws: Date of Birth or Magnitude of Crime?

‘Juvenile’ laws (pun intended):  Date of Birth or Magnitude of Crime?

Will Insurance companies provide life cover to children with life-threatening diseases? Will children with terminal diseases like last-stage Cancer or AIDS be discounted for in insurance calculations and provided with life cover? Definitely not. Doesn’t make any sense in getting emotional about pure-play insurance risk models.

Then how come our India’s security insurer i.e. our law system is all set to let loose a cancerous ‘juvenile’ psychopath into our society by as early as 2016?

After spending 3 years maximum in a remand home, the now ‘juvenile’ (17 years, 9 months) Delhi Gang rapist (and the most brutal of them all) and the then 21-year old psychopath will be no less than a ticking time bomb unleashed on our society. No less than a social terrorist, a suicide bomber, a Fidayeen. Probability models suggest (just like that for Smokers and Diabetic patients), that a minor perpetrator of a heinous crime, who is let off relatively easily, has a huge possibility of committing similar brutal crimes once back in the game.

Wisdom demands that the law treat minors committing petty crimes gently. However, it also demands that minors mentally and physically capable of committing heinous, adult crimes be treated like adults and punish like the devils they are. Isn’t there a difference between stealing a loaf of bread and committing a cold-blooded, cannibalistic sexual assault for hours and then trying to kill the victim (with absolutely zero motive or provocation or act of revenge)? It's as rare as it gets! In today’s age of violent video games, suggestive television and easy access to porn, the age of innocence has reduced drastically. Children are attaining puberty much earlier, understanding the good, the bad and ugly of life much much earlier. A child of 12 could have all the mental faculties of planning, preparing and committing some of the most dastardly crimes. Why then is the Indian Penal Code not willing to bite the bullet?

Yes, we live in a compassionate society, the land of Mahatma Gandhi. An eye for an eye will make the whole world blind. But can the law get a bit more rational, a bit less emotional? If you unleash a violently criminal person on a civilised society based on his date of birth and not on the nature of his crime, you put that society at serious risk. Who will track these ‘on the prowl’ psychopaths let loose on the society, anonymous under the cover of India’s billion something population?

Think. Change. Before the cold-blooded criminal changes yet another young girl’s life.

Race 2 Disappointment: A Revenge Video Game Served Cold!

Race 2 Disappointment: A Revenge Video Game Served Cold!

At its best (or worst), Race 2 is an over-stretched video game.  In one of the crucial moments in the movie, Saif quips in “Revenge is a dish, best served cold!” Same goes for Race 2 – it’s an over-cooked revenge dish that has all the meat, but is ultimately served cold.

 

Yes it certainly gets a tick against all the required check-boxes –

·         Adrenaline-pumping stunts. Check.

·         Gorgeous bodies on display. Check.

·         Unlimited bevy of beauties. Check.

·         Super cool machines getting blown away to bits. Check.

·         Mansions, palaces, yachts, stunning locales and all the lifestyle gadgets to keep the audience in awe. Check.

·         More twists than the dialogues allotted to Amisha Patel. Check.

·         Dhik-chick music that keeps it blaring and keeps up the tempo. Check.  

So you see, it’s got it all! But as indicated earlier, it somehow ends up being an over-stuffed, over-stretched, over-the-top and over-cooked video game that remains at that. A soul-less video game. It starts very well. The characters are established straightaway with great flash and without too much mumbo-jumbo about their existence. The protagonist, Saif looks a million bucks, makes a drool-entry and right away gets into the game. He sets it up beautifully, and yes, it promises to be a lip-smacking affair!

But that’s about it. It fails to move beyond that. Throughout the movie, the characters keep announcing it pretty grandiosely “It promises to be a Race to the finish. Let the action begin mate. Let’s unleash the power…”, and all those similar-sounding cool statements….you get the drift. However, sadly the movie doesn’t manage to build-up that much anticipated crescendo to the finish. To give due-credit, there is enough action and pace happening to keep you hooked right throughout. A heist involving the ‘Shroud of Turin’, a fight to death, a flying funeral and other sporty set-pieces to sustain the momentum. However, beyond a point, they serve merely as different levels of a video game that don’t mean much in terms of a rock-solid story.  Beyond a point, you just don’t care who did what and how and why?

It’s here that the movie strays from its significantly much-better predecessor, the original ‘Race’. The first instalment of this franchise had a finger licking plot of betrayal, jealousy and one-upmanship at the bedrock of all the flashy action pieces. It too had a twist-a-minute plot, but what kept it going was a very interesting plot premise. To top it, all of that was wonderfully brought together in a soul-stirring, long-lasting music. The numbers still linger on – Pehli nazar mein aisa jadoo, Zara zara touch me, Rock the dance floor, Khwab dekhe jhoothe moothe…

It’s here that Race 2 falls far short of its much celebrated prequel and a much unexpected sleeper-hit of 2008. The music of Race 2 is too lame, too tepid (despite all the template-beats  and mixing & mashing). The so-called ‘bevy of beauties’ in Race 2 are quintessential ‘blondes’ or ‘bimbettes’ in the truest sense. The troika of Deepika, Jacqueline and Amisha are too-much of cardboard cut-outs than flesh and blood heroines. Sadly, despite all the generous skin-show, the charmless female quotient of Race 2 lets it down big time! Can’t help going back to the original, in which both Katrina and Bipasha belonged to different league altogether. Yes , they had all the chutzpah, but at the same time, they were strongly-etched, and strongly portrayed  characters integral to the story.

To sum it up, Race 2 makes you sad on many accounts -

·         Sad that it took us 15 movies and half-a-dozen blockbusters to realize that both John Abraham and Deepika Padukone are all body but terrible actors. In a meaty antagonist role, John makes us realize yet again, that how tame an actor he is…and there is actually nothing more to him than those washboard abs and beefy biceps.

·         Sad that despite being much in vogue, Deepika is a hopeless actor and her terrible dialogue delivery has an innate ability to kill a good scene. Picture this, in a crucial scene, Deepika conveys this pretty calmly, flatly and mechanically – “Ranveer gaadi ke neeche speed bomb hai, hum ruka nahi sakte aur speed bhi kam nahi kar sakte.” I bet, you’ll enjoy this comic scene! In another one, before a party song, she announces, pretty vernacularly “Gaiees, it iz time to cut looze.” Guess, here’s someone who needs some English lessons from Kangana Ranaut.

·        Sad, the director-duo have decided to do away with their staple Johnny Lever in this movie. However, much sadder, that they’ve replaced him with Anil Kapoor! It’s downright cringe-worthy to see an actor of such calibre, playing an inconsequential role and indulging in crude, double-meaning sex jokes that are passé and juvenile enough to be avoided by C-grade movie makers as well.

·         Sad, that Amisha Patel, who is still an eye candy and a still a better actor than Deepika or Jacqueline, is reduced to playing a demented, sex starved secretary. A sixth-fiddle role that screams out just one thing – Amisha’s desperation to get back in movies!

If you look at it, Race 2 is not much different from Abbas-Mustan’s disastrous ‘Players’ released last year. One can copy-paste and switch a scene from one movie to another, and no one would realize! The only redeeming grace of this muddled enterprise is Saif Ali Khan. He looks smashing and binds together the entire convoluted plot with élan! As he himself proclaims, “Main is Race ka sabse puraana khilaadi hoon, aur main haar nahi sakta!” Very true, if you have to watch this Race, watch it for Mr. Khan – who is at the peak of his game!

Sadly, as in any race, there is just winner. Saif clinches the race by miles, lock, stock and barrel. He trumps! But unfortunately, movies are meant to be relay races, and our hero (as referred throughout in the movie is as well) is badly let down by rest of his teammates.

Race engrosses, occasionally entertains, will make a good amount of moolah and will eventually be a ‘Saif’ bet at the Box Office. But on the whole, it’s a much disappointing and tame affair compared to its much sleeker, much unpredictable and  much superior prequel.

Son of Sardaar hits the Bullseye!

Son of Sardaar is a big-bang Diwali Cracker! Absolute must watch!

Son of Sardaar dared to clash against a Titan. And well, the confidence is absolutely justified. A riot from the word go, SOS is a sizzling entertainer. Interesting premise, foot-tapping music, first rate comic timing from the ensemble cast of Vindoo & Mukul Dev, chirpy as ever Juhi Chawla, rock solid Sanju baba, sufficiently glam Sonakshi and fantastically goofy Ajay Devgn. SOS hits the Bullseye with its madcap entertainment quotient, without being stupidly brain dumb like any of Rohit Shetty stuff (Golmaal series, All the Best, Bol Bachchan).

Likely to appeal equally strongly to both the masses and the classes, SOS packs a powerful punch to be a long runner at the Box Office. It keeps you enthralled and in splits right throughout. Perhaps, the only speed-breaker is that needless romantic duet between the lead pair (a forgettable number now playing across all channels). That apart, SOS is the perfect Diwali cracker for all the movie buffs. At times Tom & Jerrish, at times Jab we Met-ish, and most often a playing to the gallery paisa-vasool entertainer. Loaded with ROFL dialogues, that often sound like that truck ke peeche waali profound shayari. Immensely funny and immediately seeti-inducing.

It’s needless to say that SOS will rush it way towards the 100-crore club in perhaps the next 10-14 days. However, as indicated earlier, this one is a long-runner (and not just a Diwali cracker) and will ensure repeat viewings up north. Won’t be much surprised if it ends up raking in around 150 crore in its entire lifetime run.  Go ahead and have a blast of Diwali by indulging in the goofy entertainment of Son of Sardaar. Make your Diwali more dhamakedaar, do watch Son of Sardaar!  Highly recommended for people of all ages, shape, size and intellect.

‘The Bankster’ Book Review: Caution, addictive material inside!

‘The Bankster’ Book Review: Caution, addictive material inside!

Virtually every year, Ravi Subramanian manages to whip-up a storm that makes you redundant and hypnotized for atleast 2-3 days/nights (depending upon your reading pace and profession).  Every year, my family is baffled with my state of trance, monosyllabic responses and an almost zombie-like existence. Every year, Ravi Subramanian does to me, what Mahabharat teleseries and much later KBC did to an entire nation – Bring it to a virtual halt!

The latest from Ravi Subramanian (If God was a Banker, Devil in Pinstripes, The Incredible Banker) had blockbuster written all over it with. Familiar premise in which the author excels in, exciting plot outline (frauds, murders, terror trail) and a good, strong marketing buzz preceding the launch. And to cut to the chase, the book does lives up to every bit of the huge expectations and DELIVERS A KNOCK-OUT PUNCH! It’s a riveting page-turner like all its predecessors and a smash-hit all the way.

It’s a satiating feeling as a reader, or for that matter, any audience (movie, music, theatre, restaurant) to come with high expectations to a certain franchise and having your expectations met. To clinical precision.

Ravi Subramanian kickstarted with simple tales of highly seductive banking careers, the corporate games, greed, lust and the heady feeling of absolute power in his initial two books – ‘If God was a Banker’ and ‘Devil in Pinstripes’. His banking story-canvas and ability to thrill took a quantum leap through ‘The Incredible Banker’. An ‘Incredibly’ ambitious and spine-chilling tale on familiar banking premises, with a whole new angle of money laundering, terrorism and corporate infiltration. A classic whodunit that not just pushed, but tore apart the envelope of Indian corporate fiction (perhaps, creating a whole new category in itself!).

In his latest, ‘The Bankster’, Ravi sets himself with clinical precision in a very similar story-trajectory like ‘The Incredible Banker’. A multi-lateral story style with atleast 3-4 different tracks running parallel in different parts of the globe (Angola, Mumbai, Devikulam – Kerala, Vienna) and the final promise of connecting them beautifully in the climax. The familiar banking corridors of money laundering, landmines in the form of unsuspicious femme fatales and ofcourse the lust for absolute power. The Incredible Banker-template is followed to the T in terms of the narrative style, character-setting and leading up to nail-biting photo finish.

Now this Incredible Banker-template could be a double-edged sword. For some (like me), it’s like homecoming to a templatized thriller! However, for others, there couldn’t be a bigger oxymoron – Templatized thriller, eh? For the cynics, the more than few striking plot similarities, could be more of a case of an ‘Incredible Banker Remake’ than a sequel or ‘Incredible Banker Reloaded’.

However, leaving aside the cynicism, there are quite a few other factors that make ‘The Bankster’ a thoroughly gripping saga.

• On atleast 2 occasions the story jolts you like a thunderbolt. In true thriller style, it hits you hard in the gut and catches you completely off-guard.
• The multi-track stories are so distant, so distinct, so apart, that it’s impossible to place a common thread till the very last 50-odd pages. Now isn’t that a major success for any worth-its-salt whodunit?
• As indicated earlier, the canvas is much bigger, neatly intertwined and richly characterized than ever before.
• And finally, a brilliantly maverick and ‘i-CONic’ plot twist towards the climax takes ‘The Bankster’ many notches above all its predecessors.

To sum it up, ‘The Bankster’ is 350-odd pages of an amazingly racy and incredibly intriguing saga. With this, Ravi Subramanian firmly entrenches his distinct stamp on a unique genre that he started with ‘If God was a Banker’. The genre that got further established with ‘Devil in Pinstripes’, expanded big-time through ‘The Incredible Banker’ and has now become a certified franchise through ‘The Bankster’.

However, now that Ravi has minutely combed through the entire underbelly of banking, corporate power games, terror, money laundering, adultery and infiltration, here are some million-copy questions – What Next? Is there still anything more left in the Banking-mafia to be explored and exposed? Can Ravi risk attempting yet another ‘Bankable’ tale? Or perhaps this genre has now been milked to its optimum and Ravi will have to look for a newer premise in his next outing?

With ‘The Bankster’, Ravi seems to have hit a sweet pinnacle in his bankable oeuvre. However, this is also the best time for an author to firmly perch his flag and move on. Remaking your own hits is an idea that drained all the creativity out of yet another maverick, Ram Gopal Varma (Shiva-James-Shiva, Raat-Bhoot-Vastushastra-Bhoot Returns). Following a set-template has seen Chetan Bhagat hitting a dangerous low with ‘Revolution 2020’. Hope, Ravi Subramanian has the right answers and does a Rajkumar Hirani on his readers very soon! The vision to start afresh with 3 Idiots rather than passionately milking the highly successful Munnabhai Franchise.

For the moment, go relish ‘The Bankster’ and get lost in its addictive, explosive, unputdownably ‘i-CONic’ content!

P.S. Just like high-integrity restaurant reviews, I paid for my copy of ‘The Bankster’. Though, BlogAdda is running an interesting campaign on signing up to review ‘The Bankster’ in your blog within 7 days and winning about 220 author signed copies, the joy of buying a copy of your favorite author and reviewing it sans any obligations is unparalleled.

The Barfi! Effect!

The Barfi! Effect: It Continues...